Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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