We won't sleep together?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize