we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
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They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
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