We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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