Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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