So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
