Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
