1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just had sex bonerless
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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