Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
