check it out our google latitudes are spooning
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize