she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
