i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
