PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
