You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
