are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
