I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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