Dual....:-)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
