He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
