question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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