no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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