Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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