zippers are such a cool invention
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He felt like a one man threesome
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
