I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
