I intend to get homeless drunk
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
