Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
