I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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