I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
