She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
