Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
