The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
