Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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