today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
