PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
