Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
