You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
