I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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