bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
