So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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