shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
