her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Panties = found
Randomize
