Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
