Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize