Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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