Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize