I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
