I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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