There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
