Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
