girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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