One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize