Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
