I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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