Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize