He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
