I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
