Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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