woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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