We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
