He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
