So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
