dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
