Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
