Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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