five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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