Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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