Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This baby is an asshole
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
