Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dick very happy bro
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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