My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
