dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
