White coat. Heels.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
