she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think my mom watched the whole time
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
